“When you know the time is limited, everything becomes different.”
Standing there on the top of the stairways just at the beginning of the impressive Harbour Bridge, looking down at all these vibrant city lights down there, watching the gentle ripples in the harbour together with sea clutter from floating boats – I realised how much has this city gotten under my skin.
Standing there and leaning on the stone rail for two hours didn’t feel enough. The time simply stood still. All the troubles and feelings became irrelevant at that moment, all the past just fizzled out. Presence was filled only with that nice pleasing feeling in my belly, the feeling you have when being in love. I could stand there forever. I could just peacefully die with this sight in front of my eyes. As the huge cruise ship was leaving the harbour, passing by the Opera House, slowly getting smaller and smaller and finally disappearing in the distance I perceived that every life is just puzzle of a fleeting moments like this. There’s only couple of days in front of me and then it’s all gonna be over. I will have to say goodbye to the most phenomenal place I’ve ever seen. I just want to enjoy the moment and live the last few days to the fullest. Funny how things change when you know how much time is left. You start to appreciate little things, think and perceive differently.
And suddenly all these other people’s stupid, random and hurried decisions made sense. All the visa extension, giving up on old lives, falling in love, moving out and in and saying goodbye. I fell in love with this city, dangerously much. I felt like I’d do everything to stay. You can’t describe this place. You have to live it out, experience. Go through the best and worse together.
I will never forget how I felt the very first evening, sitting in the Darling Harbour alone, watching the city lights on the other side of the harbour, not being aware of how much is this place gonna change my life perception. So many times I sweared about the poor, rainy weather, when the ice-cold wind coming from the ocean makes your umbrella flip over – yet with smile on my face, grateful for where I am. I remember how difficult it was to leave the warmed soft sand on Bondi beach after watching one of the most beautiful sunsets my eyes have ever spotted. So many times I just strolled along the tower buildings in the city centre, enjoying the magic of this place. I will miss all these hot sunny afternoons somewhere in a park, smiling families eating ice-cream during a Sunday stroll, the omnipresent salty fresh air, lazily rippling sea level in a harbour and all the little waves plashing against a side walls of a docked yacht. I wish I could watch the regular Saturday fireworks till the rest of my life. I would never ever complain again about the incredibly soft, orange sand from Palm Beach which was more than impossible to shake off your skin. I will miss all the rushing people during afternoon hours inside the Town Hall train station and on the other hand all the people having their everyday coffee and chit-chat in one of the cafés. I will never forget all the random talks with strangers, locals wanting to help you or just smiley face of a lady serving you in a bank. I will forever have the colours of hundreds of gorgeous sunsets in my memory, all the shades of purple, pink and orange slowly melting into a pitch dark. If only I could visit each of the lovely downtown restaurants, try out their delicious Asian and every possible cuisine. I will even miss every single crossing that made me crazy uncountably times. The bad beer and delicious coffee. The stupid but cute accent. The sweet “Darling” in every conversation. Seagulls screaming and fighting about the left over, stale potato chip. Exhibitory tanned bodies of long-haired surfers. This old man playing violin together with other buskers down the street. All the cleanness and neatness of white-collar workers. Flocks of parrots and cockatoos crossing the sky. Chatter of the ocean. The calmness this city gives me. The amazing people I met here. The freedom and independence.
I wish I could record this moment, rewind it and live it through again and again. All these last few months. Sydney has opened its arms for me and became my home. My love became stronger with every single day I’ve spent here. It certainly is the most beautiful, stunning and perfect place on the Earth. Such a small spot on the map though.
To all the Sydneysiders, you have no idea how lucky bastards you are! Take care of this city, it’s a precious baby. You can’t find a place like that anywhere else.